While jogging earlier I realized something profound:
When you keep running away from something, you might later just find yourself in the same place. But if you rethink, reassess and reflect on your direction, you might just see that you're running away from something instead of running towards something else.
It's pretty simple, really. Looking back is good, but all that bad things, the bad people, the bad experiences should not dictate where you're going.
For example: when a person you were with has taken you for granted for the longest time and it was too late when you realized that s/he had you but never did deserve you. No matter how vague the two of you were, no matter how much forceful forgetting you've done to cut him/her loose; it's never too late to realize your worth and take time to wait for that right person who would not take for granted all your efforts, time, laughter and thoughtfulness. Maybe giving it to that person, or at that time, was nothing but a stupid mistake, but it's not your fault you have all of those to offer.
Another example: when you might have just had the most perfect, idyllic and deep connection with someone yet the times dictate that you are in a mistake of a situation. Getting caught up in between a committed relationship is an experience, but in the long run, it is no fun. Making the best decisions for the future of both of you may pain you. Forgetting and disconnecting with the one person who made you absolutely happy to go back to his/her first love should not stop you from being hopeful that maybe for some other person, and/or some other time, you'd be the "first love".
And for instance, you've tried to finally correct your chronic mistakes in the past and try with another person a slow and assuring attempt at love, however, imperfection cannot escape you as mistakes are made in the process. Avoiding the same mishaps as with the other guys/girls, you then realize that the more you act on your fear of losing someone, the more you tend to cast them out. The more afraid and cautious you are of being left alone, the more you give them reasons to leave. But do not forget that you're too precious to stick with someone who doesn't fit in your heart
Now where does one find her/himself after all these experiences? One may opt to just keep looking back and know exactly what s/he's running away from and avoiding, or choose to pause and realize the mistakes and run towards, and passionately chase something good: like love. As with any happy-ending story, if it's happiness you want to embrace, then let the good things outweigh the bad.
So what triggered this reflection earlier out of nowhere while jogging around the UP Academic Oval? I was hurriedly in search for the next song that motivates me to run, a happy one, as my music player scans through songs I put onto my playlist during those down days. Now at my desk, I'm updating my playlist.
No one should expect you to quickly diagnose mistakes, get a treatment for it and recover from all the bad experiences you've had. It takes courage to face it, passion to chase it, and the persistence to undergo several steps towards that goal. Deleting an old playlist and replacing it with a new positive one is one simple start you should not underestimate, but the process continues.
