Hour of Need

Another semester is over. Am I happy? Am I satisfied? I am the kind of person who would at any point in time simply smile and thank the skies for whatever is in my life. Whether it is misfortune or blessings – I look at the brighter side of things and tell my self, “This is here for good reasons. Live with it. Make the most out of it.”

Every single day, as the person that I am, I would just sing my lungs out, or dance the night away, just to erase all the problems, all the stress away for a while. I would tell myself I should be really thankful for the friends for being able to crack jokes and make me laugh so hard, for the fellow student council members who are there working so hard with me to fulfill the goals we’ve set for ourselves, for the family who’d give me guidance and home.

Every song I hear, I would jump for joy thinking of the real good things in life. I’d think of hugs and kisses, of fun and laughter, of wisdom and learning, of hope and ambition – the good in the past and present, and the hopeful in the future.

But for the good things, there are sacrifices I make every day. By simply going to school I have to spend a lot and the commute is an exhausting one to one hour and a half. By trying to achieve my best in my academics and my council work, I barely sleep. By trying to give time for my friends and family, I keep myself awake and seemingly happy each minute I spend with them. For the good things in life – hugs and kisses, fun and laughter etc., I am pressed in time. I barely have any time for myself. I barely give myself attention.

It is nonetheless, settling for me to see my loved ones okay and happy. That gives me more hope to give the next day another push.

I run after so many things, and I run against the clock. I run after academic excellence, happiness with friends, performance in the student council, quality time with family and contributions in the household. And like every runner in the world, there comes a time when you just can’t take it any more, when you just have to take a break and breathe.

When you think you deserve a break, sometimes you have to think again. Sometimes, when you think you’ve gotten what you’ve been chasing, you’d feel it simply fading away. There are times when you think you’ve exhausted all of yourself, pushed and pushed your way to where you wanted to get, just to see that you’re still stuck in the same old place you were like you didn’t even try.

Nobody said it was easy.